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Aenigma... portraits from lockdown

Memories sip through the fabric of the being. Like micro tears bleed onto the canvas. Dark shadows of the past form invisible aura-like shield that reflects all the light that wants to get in. Every experience creates a crack and forms new invisible path. The stream changes its current and is never to return. Like a virus it spreads throughout the nerves triggering body responses that form nightmares. They bleed onto sheets with sweat digested by anxiety.

Poke it gently and they hurt... like a phantom limb that is not there anymore yet it feels so real.

So raw.

Let it flow, empty itself.

Empty sometimes holds so much within its brim it wraps around the edges...

Formed in places between meditation and dreams I was exploring the exaggerated worlds that form from traumas. How I projected protective shield to fend off hurt and reality. Vibrant and twisted. Beautiful and haunting.

Places we feel safe. Solid surfaces that hold the gravity preventing out of balance ripple from forming. Layers of experiences: past and future contained within present moment. The anchor rips the fabric shifting in time and matter. Flickering feeling of helplessness. When happenings collide with emotions. Pulsating veins distribute

poison of the threat. Unknown yet so definable. Buzzing energy of electric signals transmits crackling messages.

Most intimate painting of the triptych in form of an auto-portrait. Space of looking deep with eyes opened so long they hurt. Painting that closed that path of seeking answers while forming new me. Spaces between dreams and nightmares, physicality and spirituality. Cracking the shell and excavating warmth and light.

Underneath the thin layer of reality there is dimension of deep connections intertwining in cosmic matters.

Invisible yet powerful can be only felt intuitively.

One needs to open up the surface and gently penetrate into the pumping heart. Take the pretty layer away to reveal what really sits inside. Veins of liquid that transmits powers of being... electric signals sparkling with crackling sounds... all wired precisely to form a puppet.

Hanging in a form of sheets and layers. Simple complexity.

When the darkness appeared above humanity few months ago I suddenly remembered my fears. The moment the breath felt like a gift yet each was burning with anxiety. Dark places needed to be uncovered and carefully inspected and understood. For this piece I explored emotions of paralysis and rejection. Using Kafka as a starting point I connected myself with the fear of death, fear of rejection. Passive anger switching off body responses in never-ending loop of fear.

When I form my paintings I open a dialogue with the obvious yet question it from the innocent and confused. I reject indoctrinated knowledge and form new questions to receive new answers. Scratching the Surface to places of nativity when wrong questions don't exist. Anything can present.

I form skeleton of known, ground it with familiar and push into the cosmic world of spiritual.

All 3 paintings are now available to purchase.

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